What Guests Don’t Care About at Your Wedding

A table at a wedding reception set outside between trees and accented with lights.

Many people naturally put a lot of thought into their wedding day. They want it to be special and often even unique. But sometimes, people get caught up in worrying about what others will think about the event. And that’s putting extra pressure on oneself when it’s not needed!

It may surprise you, but the majority of guests don’t really care about most details of a wedding. They’re there to share and celebrate your special day with you. The initial “oohs and ahhs” of the centerpiece will be forgotten the next day; the memory of the experience, however, won’t be.

If you’re like most, you’re probably limited on time, money, or resources, and would be better off putting your energy toward creating a fabulous party people will enjoy, rather than one that’ll get the most likes on social media. Hence, it can help to get a sense of what guests don’t really pay attention to, and focus instead on what they do.

The Stationary

True, some invitations are simply stunning, but no matter how gorgeous they are, they’re never going to be framed on a wall (unless it’s yours!). As soon as the date and details are down in the calendar or the wedding itself is over, that pretty invitation is going to the trash. So if you want, you can skip invitations altogether, and opt for e-vites. It’s quite popular these days.

Should you need to make things look official, all you need is quality card stock and an elegant font. That means you can literally print your invitations at home! There is no need to hire a calligrapher or designer—your invitees simply won’t miss those details. Likewise, the same applies to all printed material including programs and menus. It’s much more convenient and eco-friendly to have a communal board for reference instead or have people refer to your wedding website (or app) throughout the event.

What You Wear

A bride wearing a simple sleeveless dress and standing in a field.

What you choose to wear on your wedding day should be completely up to you. If you want to have an couture gown or suit (and can afford it), then go for it! However, don’t feel like you have to look like something out of Vogue. It’s likely that no matter what designer you choose, most of your guests won’t know the difference. The only thing that matters is that you’re happy and comfortable with what you wear.

The Special Dances at the Reception

Traditionally, first there’s the dance of the newlyweds, and then the father-daughter dance, and then the wedding party joins in. Sure, it’s an important moment for some, but if it turns into a lengthy show the guests will get tired of waiting for their turn. Hence, it’s best to keep it short and simple and avoid an entire entertainment program.

On a related note, you shouldn’t feel the pressure to perform, unless that’s your thing. Do take a class or two, especially if you’re awkward on the dance floor, but it’s not necessary to plan an entire choreographed routine. And if you’ve got two left feet, don’t worry about it. Your guests aren’t judges at a talent show.

Flowers and Decor

A table at a wedding reception decorated with simple greenery down the middle.

You might feel elite knowing your wedding flowers are super rare and had to be custom grown for the event, but your guests probably won’t know the difference. No matter what flowers you choose, as long as they’re stylish they will be acknowledged whether they cost $1 or $100 per stem. It’s possible to create stunning decor on a budget without anyone being the wiser. In addition, concentrate on placing decorations in areas where guests can actually admire them. Sure, a gilded arch at the entrance looks great, but people will forget about it once they walk through the door.

Wedding Favors

Sad as it is to say, most wedding favors get left behind at the wedding or end up in the trash after a week. These days, quite a lot of couples choose to skip them altogether. Of course, you probably feel the need to provide some sort of thanks to those who came. That’s totally understandable, but do put a bit of thought into how you do it.

Some couples choose to give out wedding favors that guests can enjoy at the event, such as small containers of candy or a baked treat. You can also have a station where people can make and take home their own keepsake. Alternatively, you can mail wedding guests a small gift with your thank you cards after the party. Whatever you choose, consider that it’s something your guests will actually appreciate. We don’t need to fill up the landfills any further.

A Fancy Wedding Cake

A bride and groom holding a small simple wedding cake decorated with flowers.

By the time the wedding cake comes around, a third of the guests are probably already full, a third aren’t fond of carbs, and the rest are dying to satisfy their sweet tooth by any means possible. There’s no need to spend a ton of money on an elaborate cake design. Guests won’t mind if your cake is simple or if you choose a non-traditional dessert. What is important, however, is that it tastes good!

Sticking to Tradition

Most couples these days are doing their own thing at their weddings, so there’s no need to adhere to traditional do’s and don’ts when it comes to your special day. Your guests aren’t there to critique you; in fact, they’ll likely appreciate whatever twist you add. Feel free to forgo anything that doesn’t feel right. For example, many couples are now skipping the bouquet and garter toss. Likewise, do include what you think will enhance your special day. If that means having a punk-rock theme, bring it on; and if it means sticking to conservative tradition, no problem!

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