Early in a dating relationship, it can be easy to end the whole thing just because someone doesn’t fit your expectations. But if only one or two dating deal breakers exist, there’s a good chance you’re cutting something off that could be really special. Here are eight things that may feel like deal breakers, but that you might want to reconsider before calling it quits.
1. You Live Far Away from Each Other
It’s so disappointing when you meet someone wonderful and you realize that, within a few months, they’ll be moving far away—or you’ll be moving. However, if you aren’t currently casually dating a variety of people, you may want to give a long-distance relationship a shot. A lot of couples who make the long-distance thing work report that it makes them talk more honestly and openly—not to mention it makes visits to see each other extra-romantic.
2. You Have Small Political Disagreements
It’s tempting to rule out the next date because of a perception that you don’t have political alignment. While there certainly can be legitimate political dealbreakers, a huge majority of people are both capable of learning more about politics and more moderate in their thoughts than they might seem. Give a political disagreement a little weight, but don’t let it be the reason why you don’t keep giving each other a chance.
3. They Have Temporary Financial Instability
Warning signs about not having enough money can make a person worry that this new date will be a source of financial stress in their lives. However, most of us go through financially lean periods; the key is to keep the relationship casual until you can tell how temporary this financial instability is. If you observe unwise financial decisions that keep your new date in financial hardship, rather than just one or two tough months, it may in fact be a persistent problem worth avoiding.
4. They’re Not Quite Your “Type” Physically
We all tend to notice in a hyper-vigilant way whether or not we are attracted to someone. If you have only ever liked blondes and you find yourself on a date with a brunette, it can be startling. However, almost every long-term couple admits that there were physical aspects that grew on them as they got to know the person. If the person isn’t quite your type, give it a few more dates before you let this make or break your decision.
5. There’s General Awkwardness
This might be the biggest one of all; “I wasn’t feeling it” or “It was so awkward” can make first dates grind to a halt. However, if the person seems great on paper and they seem kind and otherwise cool, do your best to get them into a non-awkward space. Perhaps experience a less fraught experience than dinner out together to let the pressure off. If they are still too awkward for words, it might be a problem, but often it is the very pressure of the first date that makes first dates awkward. That’s no reason to let someone go!
6. They’re Divorced or Have Children
Unmarried folks without kids often make a big deal over someone having been married before or having children. Yes, it would be important down the road to know what role the ex-spouse or kids will play in your life, but for a few dates at the beginning it really shouldn’t matter, especially if you connect on many other levels. While these elements can be part of your choice, it seems like a shame to throw away something good just because you are unfamiliar with the dynamics of divorce or haven’t spent much time with kids.
7. They Have a Bad Family Situation
Early in a relationship, people will often allude to not getting along with their families or not being close to them. This, in and of itself, isn’t a good reason to ditch an interesting person; give them time to make it clear what the baggage there really is. Most of your life with a person will not be spent in close quarters with their family, so consider what might be worth enduring for the sake of someone you could potentially love.
8. You Have Different Interests
Often, the diversity of hobbies between you and your new love interest may make it seem like you have nothing in common. A surprising amount of opposites attract, though, so you might find that supporting each other in your distinct interests might actually bring you quite close together. Give it a chance—you could be surprised!
Obviously, if all of these things are true and give you pause, there’s a chance this person isn’t right for you. But if only one of these items is different from your ideal, there’s a good chance you’ve found a gem of a person. While you are allowed to have reservations, cutting off a potentially good dating relationship at the beginning isn’t a great idea. You might just grow to love this quirk about your partner!