4 Wedding Engagement Etiquette Rules for Millennials

A millennial woman with an engagement ring and her fiance with his arm around her.

For many couples, getting engaged is a very romantic and memorable moment. One party might have spent weeks or even months planning that perfect moment, and the joy that follows that one big question can be totally overwhelming. It’s no wonder that so many engaged couples want to shout their love from the rooftops—and now, thanks to social media platforms that connect us with millions, they can!

While you may want to jump right onto Instagram and share the good news with everyone at once, there are some rules that couples should observe after becoming affianced. These guidelines will ensure that everyone hears your big announcement, but that no one is hurt or offended in the process. Here are four simple rules that will help you properly announce your engagement.

1. Pause Before You Proceed

Getting engaged is a very emotional experience. Your mind is racing, your heart is pounding, you’re very likely about to cry (if you haven’t started already)—and best of all, the love of your life is there to experience it all with you! It can be easy to get overwhelmed in the moment and hurry onto the “next steps” of the engagement process, like texting your friends the good news or even planning the wedding!

Before you do anything else, take a beat and be in the moment. Like I mentioned earlier, this might be one of the most memorable moments in your relationship, so don’t let it fly by in a flurry of texts and Facebook notifications. Instead, hold your future spouse close and simply enjoy the moment as long as possible.

2. Call Your Mom

A millennial engaged couple sharing the news with their family and friends.

Once you and your sweetheart have taken time to enjoy this special moment, it’s time to start letting other people in on your happiness. Who do you start with? The people who are nearest and dearest to you: usually your parents, siblings, and best friends. Now, of course, I don’t know your family dynamic, and I don’t know who’s in your inner circle. But YOU do—and you know they deserve to know about your engagement before the rest of the internet.

Ideally, you and your fiancé would share the big news with everyone in person. However, if that’s not possible, a phone call will suffice. But whatever you do, don’t send a text; this is the kind of big and exciting news that needs to be heard, not read.

3. Make the Online Announcement

A millennial couple announcing their engagement online.

Okay. You’ve soaked up the moment. You’ve shared the news with your inner circle. It’s officially time to open up the phone and make that engagement post! We all know what these posts look like: a shot of some beautiful scenery with a ring-adorned hand in the foreground, a smooching couple holding an “I said yes!” sign, maybe a tearful selfie that was taken right after popping the question. What should YOUR post look like? It’s totally up to you!

However you decide to announce your engagement online, make sure you keep the post focused on what matters: your relationship. Avoid hashtags talking about how big the ring is or anything else that could be seen as bragging—it makes you look like a bridezilla before you’ve even started planning.

4. Answer Questions Kindly

Once you announce your engagement, you need to be prepared for questions—and LOTS OF THEM. Your phone and inboxes will start blowing up with people asking you when the wedding will take place, who will be in your bridal party, where you’re going to have your honeymoon. Some people may even want to know your post-wedding plans, like when you two plan to have kids (trust me, it happens)!

You obviously don’t need to answer every single question, but you also don’t need to tell people to back off and mind their own business (as good as that might sound). Start thinking of a nice way to field unwanted questions—something like, “We haven’t really thought that far yet, but thanks for asking.” This will help you save people’s feeling without feeling pressured to share too much information, and it should be enough to get most people off your back.

With these tips, you’ll be able to share the happy news of your engagement without offending anyone in your social circle. This is great for your friends (after all, no one wants their feelings hurt) but it’s also a great thing for you; getting engaged is a beautiful, special thing, and that moment should never be tarnished with unnecessary drama.

By taking it slow and sharing the news a little at a time—first to your closest loved ones, and then to followers—you’ll be able to avoid excess drama, which will start your wedding planning process on the right foot. Best of all, a slow, careful engagement announcement can help you and your partner preserve the magic of the moment you decided to get married.

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