7 Things to Do After the Question Is Popped

Couple kissing behind a cut out heart

Your engagement is easily one of the best days of your life. Whether the question was popped completely as a surprise or if you saw it coming from a mile away, you’ve committed to spending the rest of your life with the person you love the most and that’s worth celebrating.

After the initial dizzying shock of “oh my god I’m engaged” has worn off, you may be wondering—what do I do next?

Although there’s no particular rush to get started on wedding planning, it’s only natural to start thinking about next steps. To guide you in this early process, here are seven things we suggest to do after the question is popped.

1. Celebrate

First things first, you need to properly celebrate your engagement. This is a momentous occasion and you both deserve to have a lot of joy surrounding you during this exciting time. On the night of your engagement, round up some friends and family (if they weren’t present for the proposal) and organize an impromptu night out at your favorite bar or restaurant. Pop the champagne and order that nice whiskey—this is a celebration after all!

If you’re more of a low-key couple, take yourselves out to the most romantic spot in town and reflect on your time together and your future.

It might be tempting, but skip all the wedding talk for now and let the engagement be the celebration. Don’t worry, the wedding plans will come later.

Couple inspecting ring at a jewelry store

2. Get Rings Re-Sized if Necessary

Unless your partner went above and beyond and sized the rings in your jewelry box or measured your fingers somehow, you are probably going to need a little bit of adjustment. Take your ring to the jeweler that you purchased the engagement ring from and get an estimate on how much it’ll cost to size it to your finger. Depending on the material of the ring and how drastic of a size change you’ll need, you can expect a charge of anywhere from $40 to about $300.

3. Plan an Engagement Party If You’re Having One

Engagement parties are a great excuse to get together with everyone you love and celebrate your upcoming nuptials. Somewhere between a rehearsal dinner and a bridal shower, engagement parties can be as casual (like a backyard barbecue) or as fancy (like cocktail hour at your city’s finest place) as you want. There’s no rule of thumb on how soon you’ll need to have your engagement party, but generally you don’t want to wait too long.

If you’re considering having an engagement party, you should start to scope out locations and chart out a guest list pretty quickly after you get engaged. Try to keep the guest list as intimate as possible. Remember, this isn’t your wedding and should just be a celebration of your engagement with very close friends and family.

Save the date note with wedding rings on top

4. Think about a Wedding Date

Right after you get engaged, you’ll likely have very excited friends and family members who are constantly asking you when the big day is. Although you certainly shouldn’t feel pressured to answer this question (give us a minute, Aunt Brenda!), you should start tossing some dates around to your partner to check on a general time frame.

Many couples wait a couple of years before they tie the knot. Some couples get married within six months. No amount of time is the “correct” amount, but you should at least be communicative with your partner on what kind of timeline you’re looking at.

Once you have a loose idea of a wedding date, it becomes easier to plan other things out like the venue.

5. Ask Yourself Some Basic Wedding Questions

Once you get engaged and are starting to think about wedding plans, you have a few important questions you want to ask yourself before you really dig into the planning. Think about how you would answer the following:

  • How large of a wedding do you want to have?

  • Do you want to get married where you’re currently living?

  • Do you want to have a destination wedding?

  • Do you want to have bridesmaids/groomsmen?

  • What type of place do you see yourself getting married in? (A church, an old historic building in town, an island in the middle of the Caribbean, etc.).

  • Do you even want to have a wedding at all or would you be okay with going down to the courthouse?

After you’ve asked yourself these questions, you’ll be a bit more prepared to move forward with your wedding plans together.

Older couple just married walking through field of flowers

6. Figure out What Kind of Wedding You Want to Have

It’s also important to figure out what kind of aesthetic and vibe you want to create at your wedding. For example, do you want your wedding to be a casual, brunch-y affair? Or do you picture a formal evening wedding at a hotel ballroom? Or maybe you picture a pizza party on the beach. Whatever you envision, share these ideas with your partner and see how the ideas land.

Modern weddings are all about personalization and making the celebration feel like you. This is your chance to be creative!

7. Enjoy Your Time

Finally, the most important thing to do after the question is popped is just to enjoy the moment. Your wedding plans will happen. Your wedding date will get picked. Your bridesmaids will find out they’ve been chosen. All you need to do is focus on the most important thing right now: each other.

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