Everyone knows that relationships are hard work, but only those couples in long-distance relationships know just how hard that work can get: the scheduling conflicts, the late-night or early-morning FaceTime sessions, the expensive plane tickets. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you and your partner are probably planning to reunite at some point…probably once you’re happily married. But until that glorious day, how do you manage a long-term engagement, plan a wedding, and stay sane? Here are a few tips that will help.
Talk About Relocation FIRST
In the same way that every couple should talk about money management, family planning, and long-term goals before getting married, long-distance couples need to discuss their living situation. Deciding where you are going to live is an essential part of your future together, and it’s important to make the best decision you can.
Think honestly about where you want to live, and what that decision will mean for your future. Is it important that you stay near family? Will your current job allow you to work remotely, or will you need to look for another position? Communicate with your partner and put your heads together to decide on the best option—and remember to be willing to compromise if necessary.
Prioritize the Rest of Your Life
For a couple in a long-distance engagement, the wedding planning period isn’t just about finding the right dress, flowers, and venue; it’s about laying the groundwork for your future together. On top of planning your wedding, you’ll also be planning a move, and that has to take priority.
Keep in mind that your wedding is only one day (albeit an exciting and very fun day), while the rest of your life is, well, the rest of your life. The most gorgeous wedding on the planet probably won’t be as much fun if you don’t have a home to go back to when it’s over! Put the bulk of your energy towards finding a house or apartment, getting a job in your new city, or whatever else you need to be ready to succeed as a newlywed couple.
Delegate Wedding Planning Tasks
Unless you’re planning two weddings in two cities, one person in every long-distance engagement will have to plan their wedding from a distance. This challenge is a little easier these days (thanks, internet), but it can still be incredibly stressful and frustrating. However, there is a simple way to avoid the struggles of remote wedding planning: delegate.
Instead of wondering if that caterer in your fiancé’s hometown is really as good as the Yelp reviews say, let your partner head down there and check them out! Take care of the wedding tasks you feel comfortable with and ask friends, family, and your fiancé for help with the things that are geographically too far away (assuming they’re in the area, of course).
Limit the Wedding Talk
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, the time you spend with your sweetheart is precious and rare. It’s important to use that time to have fun and enjoy each other’s company, which is why you need to check most of the wedding stuff at the door!
Instead of spending your one weekend a month together arguing over different napkin colors, make sure you have plenty of quality time with one another. Sure, a few wedding questions here and there are OK, but don’t let this one day consume your every waking moment together.
It’s common to feel overwhelmed and stressed when you’re planning a wedding. It’s also common to feel overwhelmed and stressed when you’re planning a big move. Put the two together and you may find yourself wishing you could get this whole thing over with!
Luckily, you don’t have to feel this way. Your wedding is an exciting, beautiful time in your life and finally reuniting with your soulmate is just icing on the cake (figuratively speaking, since there will also be real cake). Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to relax, engage in self-care, and really enjoy this time of your life. Sure, it’ll be hard work, but your happily ever after is more than worth it!