These days gender stereotypes are out. The “rule” that the man has to get down on one knee doesn’t apply anymore so if you’re ready for the next step, go for it! The best part about proposing to your honey is there are no rules. You don’t have to wait a million years for him to pop the question, you don’t compete for the best proposal from all your friends, and it just might take the pressure off everyone. Here’s a few things to think about and guidelines to consider for proposing to your man.
Know Your Future Together
The biggest part of any proposal is knowing you’re ready for marriage. Marriage is forever, unless you’re going for a short Hollywood marriage, so make sure both of you are on the same track. Think about why he hasn’t proposed yet. Is he in this for the long haul and just nervous about the perfect proposal or is he going to run out the door at the first mention of a wedding? Have a talk about the future and what you both want for one another. Just because he hasn’t gotten down on one knee with that bling doesn’t mean he doesn’t see a future with you. Many men don’t like having the dreaded talk about labels, but knowing where you are both are when it comes to your future together is the most important thing before that ring hits anyone’s finger.
Decide Which Traditions To Follow
Traditionally the man asks the woman’s father or family for her hand in marriage. Sometimes this tradition is thrown out the door because the guy is just too scared to even ask, it’s not something he believes in, or he just knows he has their blessing already. It’s probably best to still ask the family because it can be seen as the respectful thing to do. They may be delighted you’re flipping the switch on tradition and making their son an honest man. Another huge tradition is, of course, the ring. Do you buy an engagement ring for him? This is all up to you because the usual case is the girl wears her engagement ring alone until the wedding when she adds the wedding band. The groom usually gets his wedding band at the actual wedding. Engagement rings for guys are a rising trend so either way you decide is just fine. Instead of getting him an actual engagement ring, you could get him a custom pair of cuff links or another piece of jewelry.
It’s Not Your Dream Proposal
It’s important to remember if you’re proposing to your man, you’re not proposing to yourself. This proposal isn’t about your dream. Think about something he would love to make this proposal special. If he’s private, he probably wouldn’t like to be proposed to on the jumbotron. If he’s loud and proud, getting down on one knee after dinner at your house is sweet, but not his dream proposal. Keep in mind he probably doesn’t even have a dream proposal so you need to go the extra mile to really make it memorable. He may love surprises and be thrilled about a wild and crazy one. He may be old fashioned and be thrilled if you turned to him and asked for his hand in marriage on a horse drawn carriage ride. You know your mate, so dig deep and be thoughtful to create his perfect proposal.
What To Say
You may be a bundle of nerves as you prepare to pop the big question. He may also have a puzzled look on his face as you get down on your knee. You can say something simple or go for the long monologue, whatever you do just speak from your heart. The most important part of this entire thing is to say the words, “Will you marry me?” If all else fails when you’re trying to remember the rehearsed words you spoke so eloquently in your mirror a million times, just ask for his hand in marriage and all will be okay.
He May Say “No”
Be ready for any answer. Proposals usually make national news when someone says “no” publicly so the odds are he’ll say yes, but always be prepared. He may want to go the traditional route of asking you. He may have even already bought a ring! Be prepared for anything. He may actually be so stunned that he has to sit and think before answering you. The worst case scenario is he may just not be ready to dive into marriage. This is fine, too, but you still need to talk about your future together. A “no” doesn’t mean the wedding is off forever, but you need to discuss why you both aren’t jumping for joy and sharing your engagement news.
Be Prepared For Anything
Since this is new territory for you as a woman, you may not know all the preparations needed for a proposal. Make sure you plan ahead for any crazy things that may arise. If you’re planning an outdoor engagement, make sure to have a back-up in case inclement weather decides to drown your plans. Traffic may hold you up if you’re going to a big event. He may get sick the day of the planned proposal so it’s up to you to decide if he’s too sick to say “yes.” Make sure you make reservations for things like hotels and restaurants. If loved ones are helping you pull off the perfect proposal, make sure they all know their roles and are ready. If you’re asking him via a plane writing in the sky, make sure that pilot is on time and you’re not staring at your picnic dinner instead of into the sky. You’re going to probably be shaking with nerves so preparing and double checking will save you lots of stress on the big day.