What to Know if You’re Buying the Ring After You’re Already Engaged

A man and woman hugging after getting engaged.

So, you’ve decided to propose to the love of your life. You get down on one knee, hold their hands lovingly and ask them to be yours by giving them…nothing…yet. While this is normally the time to pull a beautiful diamond ring from your pocket, many men are proposing without that sparkly bling. Diamonds are expensive, they reason; why would I buy one that I’m not certain she’ll like?

These days, some couples are waiting until they’re already engaged to buy the ring. This ensures that your partner loves their ring and saves the proposer from the stress of buying something so personal on their own—(win-win!). If you and your sweetheart are planning to shop after the question’s been “popped,” here are a few things you need to know.

Shop Together

A man and woman looking at a jewelry shop display as they shop for an engagement ring.

Whether you’re planning to design your own ring or buy something already made from your favorite jeweler, shopping together is a great way to make sure both parties are happy with the ring. After all, not every bride-to-be knows exactly what kind of ring she wants. Some won’t really know until they’ve actually tried on several designs!

Buying the ring after you propose is a unique opportunity to treat the love of your life to EXACTLY what she wants. She’s going to be wearing this thing for the rest of her life, so it should be a ring she absolutely adores. But you probably won’t be certain that you’ve picked the right ring unless you work together.

If you buy the ring after getting engaged, make sure you do all your ring shopping with your fiancé. Don’t feel obligated to surprise your sweetheart with a ring (that ship sailed when you proposed), and don’t pop over to the store and buy your own ring solo. This is a big moment for both of you, and that means you both should be there when you find “the one.”

Be Honest About Your Budget

Conventional wisdom states that an engagement ring should cost two month’s salary. However, this “rule” isn’t hard and fast; you can spend as much or as little as you want on that ring! If you are buying the ring with your fiancé, there won’t be any secrets about the price…which is why you both parties need to be completely transparent about the budget.

Gentlemen, if you can’t afford a massive ring, let your girl know. There is no reason to fall into debt just so she can have a sparkly token of your affection! And ladies, if you really want a ring that’s outside your sweetheart’s price range, that’s OK. Just consider pitching in to cover the difference! You two are a team, and you will be for the rest of your lives, so you might as well start working together now.

Shop Around

A jewelry box with a selection of diamond engagement rings.

When you tell someone you got engaged, one of the first things people say is that they want to see the ring. This can lead to an uncomfortable encounter for couples who haven’t bought it yet, and it might make them feel a pressing urgency to go buy that rock. But please, listen to me: DO NOT FEEL RUSHED INTO BUYING A RING YOU DON’T REALLY LOVE.

If you are still searching for the ring of your dreams, don’t worry! It doesn’t make you any less engaged than anyone else. You and your fiancé already agreed to make a life-long commitment. You clearly love one another; the diamond is just icing on the cake. There’s nothing wrong with waiting days, weeks, or even months until you find the perfect ring.

You might be wondering what to do in the meantime when people ask about your ring. Be honest with them, tell them you’re still in the process of searching for the perfect one, and move onto another subject. At the end of the day, another person’s opinion of your engagement truly doesn’t matter.

Have Fun!

There’s something strangely intimidating about buying an engagement ring. The store is so fancy, everything in it is so expensive, and the stakes tend to feel extremely high. You’re searching for a ring that symbolizes your love, a ring that your partner will wear for the rest of their life…IT HAS TO BE PERFECT…right?

Sure, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to buy an exceptional ring. But if you and your partner aren’t enjoying the process, you might need to take a step back and regroup. Buying an engagement ring should be fun and exciting—it’s the first step in starting your life together! Try to let go of all the shopping stress and just have a good time together. Once you do, buying that ring will be just one more happy memory in your beautiful love story.

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