How to Track Down Overdue Wedding RSVPs

A woman in a leopard skirt holding a wedding invitation with a wax seal.

One major frustration that brides and grooms experience when planning a wedding is trying to track down overdue RSVPs. Knowing who’s coming to your wedding is important for many reasons, including giving your caterer an accurate headcount, figuring out how many items you need for things like favors, and for creating a seating chart. However, it could be kind of awkward to ask people whether they’re coming or not when it comes to inquiring with those who haven’t replied yet. Luckily, there are several simple ways to go about this.

Ask Someone to Help

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People who aren’t planning on attending your wedding will likely feel really bad if they have to say no directly to you or your future spouse. For that reason, it could be a good task for someone in your wedding party or a close family member to help with. This takes a bit of the pressure off of the guests. Ask the designated person to reach out via text or email to guests who haven’t yet replied. You can even create a shared document for them to annotate as they hear from people to simplify the process.

Divide and Conquer

Especially if some of those late replies are from people you don’t know super well, you may want to divide and conquer when it comes to tracking down these answers. Ask your future in-laws to ask those who haven’t replied from their side of the guest list and your parents to handle those who haven’t replied on your side. This makes for quick work to get the answers you need.

Put a Reminder on Your Wedding Website

A young woman looking at a laptop.

A gentle reminder on your wedding website urging guests to submit their RSVP is a good way to nudge any stragglers to give their answer. This is simple to do and can help alleviate the awkwardness of having to follow up with individuals.

Go Electronic

Having an electronic RSVP option is one way to make it easy for guests from the start, negating the need to even track down late responses. For instance, include a QR code with your invites that guests can easily scan upon opening the invite to give their answer. Or, just direct guests on your invite to your wedding website to submit their RSVP. If you did go with a strictly paper reply, though, you can help track down tardy RSVPs by emailing those who haven’t replied a day or so after the due date has passed. Send a somewhat generic email to the group of late repliers by blind carbon copying (BCC’ing) everyone so there is anonymity. Direct guests to your site and have an electronic option set up there. This could be a simpler and easier way for guests to give their answer about their attendance.

Reach Out Directly

A young woman sitting on a vintage chair, looking at her phone.

Yes, it might be a little awkward, but as a somewhat last resort, you may just have to reach out directly to those who haven’t replied. Shoot these individuals a personalized text explaining that you understand if they can’t make it. You’d be surprised by how many individuals put off replying simply because they feel bad their answer is no! Send something short and sweet like: “Hey there! Hope you’re doing well! Did you receive our invitation? Are you joining us on (date) for the wedding? We hope you can make it, but if not we completely understand. Just trying to nail down those final numbers!” A simply message like this could be the key to getting the answers you need.

This can definitely be a sticky situation, but at the end of the day, you need to lock in your final guest count numbers and sometimes these actions are needed to get that job done!

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