There is a lot of marriage advice floating around. Whether it’s from social media posts, articles, or things that your friends and family have passed along, it seems everyone has an opinion about something, especially when it comes to relationships. So much of this advice has become so widespread that it’s no wonder it’s so easy to believe whatever you read or hear. However, there is some marriage advice you can definitely ignore due to their inaccuracy or just plain silliness. Below, we list the five pieces of marriage advice you can ignore—and what to follow instead.
1. Never Go to Bed Angry
You’ve likely heard this many times before: the notion that couples should never sleep before resolving a conflict. However, there’s nothing wrong with going to bed angry. Often when we fight before bed, we’re tired and can’t resolve things in a respectful and calm and clear manner. There’s also the possibility that you might “sleep it off” and in the morning realize just how pointless the fight really was. If anything, by putting a pin into your conflict, you’re more likely to revisit the issue with a refreshed and less reactive perspective.
2. Get Used to not Having Sex Once You’ve Been Married for Years
This is another piece of marriage folklore that’s been floating around for a long time. The fact is, many couples report that sex gets better with time. If you’re not being intimate, don’t chalk it up to the length of your marriage. Instead, be curious about it and talk to your partner regarding your intimacy issues. The reason you might not be having sex might run deeper than you think. It’s best to nip it in the bud and get to the bottom of the issue so you can start having sex again!
3. Never Sleep in Separate Beds
Speaking of the bedroom, you’ve also probably heard that sleeping in separate beds will ruin your relationship. The truth is that sleeping in the same bed is often a point of contention within a number of marriages, and sleeping in separate beds actually helps save some relationships. Many couples don’t sleep in the same bed at night—and they’re still happily married. This doesn’t mean they stop having sex; it just means they’re able to have a good night’s rest afterwards.
4. Your Partner Should Complete You
You can blame Jerry Maguire for this one. The truth is, no one completes you; you complete yourself! You shouldn’t be looking for another ‘half’ of you to make yourself feel whole and happy. The best and most successful relationships happen when both partners are securely happy and confident within themselves. This way, they’re not trying to fill a void through another person, which leads to co-dependency. Even when married, it’s important to carve out time for yourself and relish in your independence.
5. When You’ve Married the Perfect Person, You’ll Never Have to Work at Your Marriage
Because of this false tidbit, you’re more likely to think that whenever you and your spouse argue, misunderstand each other, or experience any type of bump in your relationship, then you’re not meant to be together. In the same vein, you might also enter marriage thinking that if you’ve married “your person,” then you won’t have to work at your relationship, believing it’ll be easy no matter what. However, love and relationships do take work. You work at learning how to communicate and compromise with your spouse because you love them and you don’t want to be with anyone else.
When it comes to navigating your marriage, it’s important to listen only to what truly resonates with you and your relationship, and leave the rest. Each marriage is different and requires unique attention and care. Be mindful of the advice you hear, and only adhere to the stuff that makes sense for your marriage.