Deciding to hold on to your virginity — or possibly deciding to wait this time around — until you are married is a strong commitment between you and your partner. You have likely had people on both sides of the issue weighing in on your decision, giving you advice and trying to guide you. However, everyone’s experiences and views on the subject vary, which can make it difficult to have a real, honest conversation.
Every couple needs to do what feels right for them, and this does not make a couple’s decision any less valid. So, if you have been saving sex for marriage, here is what you can expect on your wedding night.
It Will be Awkward
Everyone’s first time is awkward. It can still be awkward for those who have slept with other people before their new partner. There is no reason either of you should feel badly, or feel that you are not any good at doing the deed.
If you have a friend who told you about a horrible, awkward experience they had because they saved sex for marriage, do not assume that is what you can expect on your wedding night. Rather than see this as a negative, turn it into a positive. Laugh about it and just enjoy each other. Sometimes the awkwardness can be the most fun and memorable moments for a couple.
There is a Learning Curve
Much like when you get a new car and have to adjust to the driving style, what is pleasurable for one person is not necessarily the same for another. Regardless of the amount of research you do and the advice you get beforehand, this is something you will have to explore with each other. This is another adventure you get to embark on and a road of discovery.
Saving sex for marriage means that your wedding night may not be as magical as the movies make it out to be. It is normal and OK to not orgasm on your first try. As long as you communicate with each other, you will get there. Let your partner know what makes you feel good and what does not; you will eventually find that sweet spot.
You Might be too Tired
Let’s be honest, the ceremony and the reception are exhausting. It is perfectly acceptable for you both to get back to your room and fall asleep in each other’s arms. You can always consummate your relationship after a good night’s rest. It will probably help!
Things Will be Tight
Ladies, if you have been saving sex for marriage, on your wedding night you can expect that your vagina may be too tight to be fully penetrated on the first try. And, yes, it can be a little painful. The key here is not to force it. You can talk to your gynecologist beforehand, and they can make some recommendations for you, including devices that will gently and gradually stretch your vagina before your wedding night.
Do not be afraid to use a lubricant either. This is also something you can get from your doctor. Using a lubricant does not mean there is anything wrong, but can help things slide right in (especially for the first time).
It is Going to be Messy
Some people are off put by the mess or think they have done something wrong. That is not the case, and it is normal for things to get messy. There may be some blood in addition to some other bodily fluids if her hymen had not yet been broken. So, do not be alarmed if you have been saving sex for marriage, this is something you can expect on your wedding night.
You can lay down a towel if you are concerned about the mess. It is most certainly nothing to be ashamed about, though.
Ladies, (and Men) You Need to Pee!
OK, this does not necessarily fall under the anticipation category, but it is something you need to know. Not every woman knows nor understands the importance of peeing after intercourse. Not urinating after doing the deed can cause you to have a urinary tract infection. A UTI will ruin many moments much more than a quick trip to the restroom after will.
The most important thing if you have been saving sex for marriage, is to expect the unexpected. Even after reading this and all of your other research, things may come up that you may have never imagined. You have to realize that no two people have the same experiences nor do the same things turn them on.
You need to relax, just have fun, be in the moment, and enjoy exploring each other. If having a little bubbly while taking a relaxing bath together will help, do it. Talk to your partner beforehand about your expectations and whether either of you have any boundaries you’d like to clarify. It will make things easier when it comes time to get down to it. Keep the lines of communication open during and after. Letting the other person know how you feel about what is going on and what feels good will lead to greater satisfaction.