Surprising (But Effective!) Ways to Keep the Spark Alive

A man and woman laughing in bed together.

Being in love and connected to your partner is a magical feeling. But sometimes the exciting passion that you shared in the early days of your courtship can become stagnant after you’ve been in a long-term relationship or marriage for a number of years. While there’s a nice easiness between you, that magnetic chemistry may somehow now be lacking. You want butterflies again, not to mention that you miss the all-consuming, can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other feeling you used to have. If you’re worrying that you might not ever feel that way again with your partner, fear not. Below we’ve listed some surprising, but effective, ways to keep the spark alive in your marriage or long-term relationship.

1. Kiss More

A husband and wife kissing in their apartment.

When was the last time you kissed just for the sake of kissing, and not as a form of foreplay? Kissing is powerful, communicating so much love and affection and cementing the bond between you and your partner. Kissing your husband or wife “more” doesn’t mean you have to have a daily makeout session (but that’s okay, too!). Try greeting them home from work with a kiss, or kissing them goodbye in the morning. Or, surprise them with kisses on the cheek and neck while they’re cooking dinner, which will definitely create some heat in the kitchen!

2. Share Good News

Keeping the spark alive isn’t always related to the physical aspect of your relationship. Creating more magnetism between you means also improving the connection and positive vibes. So, when we share good news with your partner—whether that’s a job promotion or simply a fun interaction you had with a stranger—and you receive a positive response from them in return, you’re deepening your bond and showing each other that you trust and care about one another.

3. Make More Meaningful Eye Contact

A woman at a coffee shop smiling at her husband across the table.

Eye contact is powerful. Just think of when you were first dating your husband or wife—you probably got nervous whenever your eyes met. Prolonged eye contact, meaning maintaining eye contact for at least five seconds but no longer than 10, can help return those instant butterfly feelings. So, the next time you’re eating dinner or going out for a walk, catch your partner’s eye and maintain their gaze with a smile. It will give you both a fun, flirty feeling and leave you feeling really good about each other.

4. Express Your Appreciation

Everyone loves to feel appreciated, however, often in a long-term relationship we tend to take for granted the little things our partner does for us. We might even forget to thank them for all the wonderful ways they help us out during the day. Taking the time to express gratitude and appreciation towards your partner, like thanking them for making you a cup of coffee in the morning, generates positive feelings and love. The more you express appreciation for your partner, the more they will feel love and acknowledged by you, and the more they will keep wanting to do the things that please you, which can only bode well for your relationship. Plus, it feels good to feel good about your partner!

5. Sleep Naked and Shower Regularly Together

A man and woman in a vintage bath tub together, laughing.

These are two sensual things you can add to your routine to help spice things up. Sleeping naked together is a wonderful way to express ease, comfort, and confidence with your partner while also providing some sexual spark—which is so integral to maintaining a successful and happy relationship. Showering regularly together is another sensual act that you can do to help heat up the connection. You can add some sexual intimacy to your shower time, or simply make it something you use as an occasion to catch up with one another (albeit in a really sexy way!). It’s all about building the sexual connection and intimacy between you that helps you see each other as passionate partners rather than friendly roommates.

By sneaking in these easy, effective ways of keeping the spark alive into your relationship, you’ll remind each other of why you fell in love and how much you do love and appreciate each other after all these years.

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