10 Ways to Be Spontaneous in Your Marriage

Happy couple

“Adventurous” and “exciting” aren’t words many people use to describe their marriage after a while. Maybe at the beginning of a relationship, but over time most couples settle into their everyday lives get lost in the land of monotony—the land where life seems to get away from them. School projects, homework, work projects, making lunches, making dinner, and saving the world takes the place of new adventures. The bad news is that passion and fun fly out the window when there is no spontaneity in marriage. Yes, if you have kids they’re the center of your world, but you must remember where your world began when it was just the two of you! You can’t like the excitement just die with out a fight. The good news is that it’s not that difficult to introduce a little adventure and put spark back in your marriage. Here are ten places to start!

1. Say “Yes”

friends having dinner

Think about the times your spouse asks you to do something social, and you roll your eyes and insist on staying in with your blankets and a good movie. How often is this the case? If your answer is “all the time,” then next time he or she asks, just say yes. Don’t think about how tired you’ll be tomorrow, don’t think about the calories in that drink or about the fact that it costs 15 dollars. Just say “yes” and go have fun. This is the first step to getting out of your comfort zone every so often.

2. Send a “Just Because” Gift

Everyone loves getting things at work. The delivery person comes in and everyone stares waiting to see just who gets the goodies. It’s like opening a little box of magic when you get a delivery because it’s fun and different. Sending your spouse a gift “just because” keeps that little box of magic flowing with love. Send warm cookies, a bouquet of roses, or a box of candy with a sweet card. It only takes a little bit of money for this big gesture of appreciation. And, if you’re lucky, your spouse might share some of their goodies when they get home!

3. Staycation

You don’t have to travel far away to have an adventure! Book a staycation a few miles away, check in, and just relax knowing there is nothing you need to do. Getting away from your actual house means you aren’t thinking about the shopping list on your fridge or worrying about the housework. Different scenery, a different room with fluffy different pillows make the whole experience a true vacation without the high price of gas.

4. Book a Quick Getaway

Older couple vacation

The next best thing to a staycation is an actual vacation. Be decisive and make plans on a Friday to leave on Saturday. Find a last minute sitter if you have kids and book everything in the moment to feel as free as a bird. Put away the worries of money and things that need to be done at the house. Throw a few bags together and just stow away as a couple. It’s so important every so often to remember what life was like when it was just the two of you without any worries. Play and frolic like when you were dating. It may seem crazy to go on a quick getaway, but making life full of adventure is part of the magic of spontaneity. You would be surprised how often this can work out just fine.

5. Surprise Date Night

Lay out dressy clothes for your spouse and announce you’ll be going on a surprise date night when they get off of work. Make reservations at a nice restaurant or pack a picnic dinner and head to the park. A sitter shouldn’t be hard to get for a few hours, so just enjoy a night out to yourselves. After dinner, keep the night going with a movie or dancing. It’s so important to get back to the roots of dating so you remember why you fell in love in the first place.

6. Happy Hour Date

Get away early for a drink during Happy Hour. Have a quick toast at a local eatery to catch up on the day and share a laugh. It’s hard to find time between work and rushing home to take care of your family. Take off for an hour to just escape for a drink and appetizer. That little bit of alone time will rejuvenate your relationship.

7. Trade Chores

Couple doing dishes

It might sound like a boring way to be spontaneous, but any change in routine is great for your relationship. If you do most of the cooking and your spouse does most of the cleaning, switch it up. Make the bed, vacuum the floors, and do the dishes as a surprise. If you don’t cook very much, cook your spouse a surprise meal and set the table complete with lit candles. Being creative with your mundane routines will spark up the relationship and get you trying new chores around the house.

8. Spark Up Your Sex Life

Break out of the your same sex routine. Try new moves in the bedroom and just make it different. Your sex life doesn’t get boring because it’s not good, it gets boring because it’s always the same. Changing it up and just having a little fun will make a huge difference.

9. Be Randomly Affectionate

Spontaneous hugs and kisses out of the blue are just sweet. Often couples get so into routine they leave little time for a long hug or to just hold hands. Grab your partner’s hand as you walk down the hall and watch the surprise on their face. Grab their face for a tender kiss as they watch television. You can bet the TV won’t stay on that channel for long. Don’t let affection fall out of your relationship. It’s important to touch and show love through affection.

10. Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

Don’t just plan a spontaneous events; take an extra step and plan something truly new. If you decide to go on a dinner date, don’t go to the place you go every date night. Take a step out of your comfort zone and try new things on these excursions. Go bowling if you never do, take a trip to a comedy club, or just stare at the stars on a clear night. As long as the activity is different than your usual date nights, go for it!

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