Getting divorced can be an emotional and tiring journey. While you may think you know everything about separating from a spouse, there’s a lot that people don’t understand about this life event. Learn below what no one tells you about parting ways with your husband or wife.
1. You May Have Second Thoughts
Although a lot of people don’t talk about it, many people experience second thoughts when it comes to going through a divorce. This questioning can come while you’re in the thick of the divorce or even after it’s final. Many individuals say it’s hard for them to not second guess themselves once their ex has a new flame or relationship. This is completely normal and something you’ll have to work through one way or another during the process.
2. Your Finances Will Completely Change
During your marriage, you likely had combined finances with your spouse or at least split payments for things one way or another. Once you are divorced, you’ll likely be in a different financial situation. You’ll need to ensure you have a handle on all monthly bills and that you save properly for retirement. If your spouse handled all these items prior to your divorce, make sure you gain an understanding from him or her surrounding where you need to step in after the separation occurs. Also consider working with a financial advisor during this adjustment to ensure all of your ducks are in a row.
3. There Will Be Boredom
The process of getting divorced can be trying and filled with a lot of “drama.” Between lawyers and breaking the news to people about the separation, it’s definitely a busy time in anyone’s life. However, not many realize that after the divorce is signed, sealed, and delivered, there can be a lot of boredom. Perhaps this quiet time is welcomed by some after going through a divorce, but it’ll definitely be there and will shift you into a new routine different from the one you had when you were married.
4. There May Be Unexpected Reactions from Others
Telling your family and friends about your impending divorce may be tough, and you may receive some reactions you weren’t expecting when you do break the news. While some individuals may be shocked and upset by it, others may let you in on their true feelings about your spouse if they’d previously held back on what they thought of him or her. This, again, is all a normal part of the process.
5. You May Lose Some Friends
One of the unfortunate things that accompanies a divorce is the loss of some friends. This is especially true with “couple” friends that you and your spouse used to hang out with together. While this may be a hard pill to swallow, remember that other friends will come along and this is a normal occurrence when divorces happen.
6. You’ll Need to Double-Up on Essentials for the Kids
If you have children and they’ll be spending time with both you and your ex after your divorce is finalized, you’ll need to have two sets of essential items for them. You’ll want a set of all of their must-haves at each home, and this is sometimes something that’s overlooked during the time of divorce.
7. Moving on May Take Awhile
Moving on from a divorce isn’t something you’re going to do overnight. This is a major life event and a separation from someone you’ve likely spent a big part of your life with, as well as many milestones. Don’t beat yourself up if this process takes longer than you expect. Many people describe a divorce as something similar to a death, in which there’s a grieving period for those involved. Be gentle with yourself as you rebuild and work on your own emotions coming out of a marriage.
Going through a divorce is tough work, but knowing what to expect can help with the healing process.