How to Handle a Long-Distance Newlywed Marriage

A pair of red hearts with a small airplane on top of them.

You’re probably imagining that once you’re married, you’ll be spending lots of time with your beloved and live happily ever after. And if you’re already in a long-distance relationship, finally being together is probably the one thing you look forward to. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. With more people meeting online and via travels, LDRs (long distance relationships) are becoming more and more common—as are long-distance marriages.

Being physically separated after the wedding whether due to military deployment, a career change, or any other reason, can feel like a break-up. Don’t worry. The good news is that plenty of people have made long-distance marriages work. Although there are many downsides to the current situation, things won’t be as bad as you think.

No long-distance relationship is easy and one after marriage can be even harder to handle mentally. However, if you find yourself in such a scenario with the love of your life, you’ll likely be willing to go the extra “miles” to make it work. After all, the situation is likely temporary and it will all be worth it in the end. Hopefully, these bits of advice can help you overcome this less-than-ideal time.

Communication Is Crucial

A young woman looking at her phone in a cafe.

Fortunately, we live in modern times when it’s easier than ever to stay in touch, no matter where in the world you may be. And in LDRs, it’s extra important to make it a priority to keep the conversation going, even if it’s a simple “good morning” or “good night” text. You can narrow the distance by pretending nothing has changed. Keep one another updated on your day-to-day activities and plans, as you would if you were living together. And schedule virtual dates at least once a week or more, ideally where you can video chat. In addition, it’s worth the extra effort to send a physical letter or parcel every now and then. Knowing you’re holding something your beloved just held not long ago will create a bonding moment.

Look Forward to the Future

Before you separate and every time you see each other, make a plan for when you’ll meet next time. Set a date, or at least an approximation—always! It’s necessary to have something you can count on or else you’ll be living with constant anxiety that you’ll never see them again. This can lead to added stress, which can spur unnecessary arguments and do no good for your relationship’s wellbeing.

Don’t Overthink Things

Eventually, there may be a time when you won’t get an instant reply or your plans to meet will fall through. Or you might get a text that’s meant to be sarcastic, but because they left off the emoji, you misinterpret it. Whatever it may be, it’s important not to jump to conclusions right away. If something concerns you, speak to your spouse on your next phone date about it. It’s common to be jealous or even irrational in such situations, so they will understand. Most likely, they have been through the same emotions.

Be Busy

Two friends enjoying a meal together.

Loneliness will likely be an issue, which is why it’s important to surround yourself with supportive friends and occupy your free time. The busier you are, the less time you have to drown yourself in negative thoughts.

Forget-Me-Nots

It’s important to surround yourself with reminders of your relationship, even if it seems painful at first. Display photos of the two of you around your home, place gifts they’ve given you in a place where you’ll often see them, and set your phone background to your favorite photo together. Such mementos remind you about what you’re waiting for and motivate you to keep going. It can also help to pretend the person is still living with you in your home. If there are certain ways they like to keep things, maintain that habit. (Not to mention, you might end up fighting over the same thing every time you meet again!)

Stay Strong, It’s Not All That Bad

A long-distance relationship is hardly what one imagines, especially if it happens soon after tying the knot, but it’s possible to get through it and use it to one’s advantage. Some say that long-distance marriages are easier to handle than a regular LDR because you have a sense of security.

Any type of LDR can also be beneficial for a stronger future. It’s been said that the key to building a life together is first learning to live apart. Not to mention, living at a distance can also help prevent codependency, which is a common issue among newlyweds. Regardless, keeping a positive outlook is key. Of course, LDRs aren’t for everyone, but if you can stay strong mentally, your love can not only survive, but thrive.

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