The wedding is one day of your life, living together is the rest of your life. Once that perfect wedding day ends, some couples that have never lived together are left trying to navigate all the changes of moving in and figuring out just how to live together without going insane. I thought I knew every little thing about my husband’s living habits… until I actually lived with him. I had to figure out how to not kill him every time I found the toilet seat up and we had to have a few meetings about spending money. The good news is with a little compromise you can figure out how to live happily ever after together.
The Little Things Make A Big Difference
The little things are the things that end up driving you crazy. My husband hates when I let dishes sit overnight in the sink and he has to stare at them the next morning. I hate how he leaves out the toothpaste cluttering up my counter space. You may hate how your spouse leaves a towel on the floor after a shower or puts water bottles back in the refrigerator after drinking out of them. These things seem small, but can grate on a marriage day after day. The best way to combat the little things that annoy you is to talk about them and make an effort to fix them. Since they are small things, it shouldn’t be too difficult to tweak the habits. I can easily wash a few dishes before bed and my husband can easily put the toothpaste back in its holder. It isn’t something we think to do, but once it’s brought to our attention, it makes it much easier to make the simple change.
Marriage means uniting as one which usually means the bank accounts unite as one, too. Some couples do choose to still have separate bank accounts, but this is something up to each person to decide. You need to decide how you will control your finances and discuss them in depth. One thing both of you need to consider is the amount of debt you bring into the marriage. This is something that now applies to both of you. Debt is something that can eat away at both your finances and your marriage. Talk about your spending habits and how you will apply money coming in versus money going out. I love to shop and love to spend money. My husband loves to save money and sell things to make more. We are on opposite ends of the spending spectrum so we both have to work hard to compromise. We set a spending budget so I don’t go out and buy an entire store’s worth of clothing. You don’t have to save every penny you have for the future, but you do need to have a financial vision and ensure you stick to it so you don’t go bankrupt one day.
Get Out Of The House
Moving in together means you need time apart. It may sound crazy since you got married to be together forever, but it’s important to nurture your relationships outside of the marriage as well. You’re going to be living together 24/7 so it’s important to spend away from one another so you don’t go insane. Take time for yourself by going to your favorite park to read or walk around a shopping center. Don’t forget about all of your loved ones, and make time for them. Spending time apart will make it even more sweet when you return home to your honey.
Household decor can be a huge battle because we all have our own decoration preferences. My husband is as manly as they come, but he loves black and white paintings and movie posters. I cringed every time I looked at his Ansel Adams photos hung in random places on our walls, but decided since it made him happy I would grin and tell him how good they looked. The movie posters were moved into his Man Room so I didn’t have to look at them in our living area. You may have the best taste when it comes to household decor, but remember to give your spouse some of the decoration input as well. They may hate your use of fake plants and vintage mason jars just as much as you hate their sports memorabilia and specialty beer mugs. If you simply cannot stand to look at your spouse’s decorations in one of the main rooms, give them free decorating reign in a guest bedroom or the office.
Enjoy Your Time Together
One of the most important things about enjoying your new marriage and your new roommate is to have fun! Your spouse may love to watch hours of car shows while you enjoy old school sitcoms. That’s fine, just divide the time and watch them together. Figure out the weird, fun things you can do together in your own house. You may enjoy playing video games, working puzzles, or busting out the board games. Listen to music and dance around the living room together. Get outside in the backyard and grill hamburgers while sipping a beer together. Each couple has their own fun things they love to do together.