slomotion

Fort Worth, Texas, USA

Buzzing Beekeeper

4 Following 10 Followers 57736 Helpful Vote

slomotion

Not selected

ABOUT ME

BASIC INFORMATION

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.

Relationship
Married
Occupation
Not Listed
Birthday
October 10
Interests:
Murders and executions

OUR WEDDING

Date
Season
Fall
Registered
Role
Bride
Colors
Hashtag
#hashtag
Theme
Whimsical
Location
City, State
Honeymoon
City, State
Setting
Other
No. of Guests
51 - 100

OUR ENGAGEMENT

Engagement
Nov 21, 2015 
Location
 
Cut
 
Stone
 

SIGNIFICANT OTHER

Where did you meet?
Platform, location, place, etc 
How long have you been together?
 
My silliest nick/pet name for SO
Nic/pet name 
Our favorite type of date night
Movies 
Our favorite date food
Italian 
How did you meet?

Tell us how you met

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