4 People You May Not Want to Invite to Your Wedding — But Probably Should

A table set at a wedding reception.

Finalizing the guest list for your wedding is as equally fun as it is stressful. Choosing who will celebrate your special day with you is an exciting part of the wedding planning process, but it can quickly turn difficult when it comes to deciding who makes the cut and who doesn’t. While some people are no-brainers when it comes to invites, there are others who can be trickier when it comes to deciding if they get an invitation or not. You might not necessarily want to invite these people to your wedding, but when it comes to keeping the peace and good etiquette, you probably should. Below are four iffy people you may not want to invite to your wedding, but who should probably receive an invitation, anyway.

1. Your Long-Lost Cousin

Maybe he or is she isn’t actually your long-lost cousin, but they certainly feel like a stranger to you. Maybe you haven’t hung out in decades or maybe you were never all that close growing up. Whichever the case, you don’t feel it would be appropriate for them to come to your wedding. However, your mom (or some other close family member) insists you invite them. Here’s the thing: if you’re inviting other extended family members including aunts, uncles, and other cousins, you should invite this cousin. Why? To keep the family peace. If you don’t, you might not hear any push back about it, but your mom or dad probably will. Just seat your cousin with your other extended family, and pat yourself on the back for avoiding a family fight.

2. Your Aloof Co-Worker

A group of wedding guests at a table.

Despite your best efforts, your relationship with your aloof co-worker has remained hot and cold. So why on earth would you invite them to your wedding? To keep the peace at work, of course. Think about it: if this co-worker is a part of your team at work and you’ve already invited at least two other team members (or maybe all other team members except for them) it’s going to send a message to this person that you’re definitely not on the same “team” outside of the office. No matter what your relationship might be with this person at work, there will probably be some tension and even some backlash as a result if you don’t at least extend an invitation. The same thing goes if you work in a small business or office. If one or more employees are invited to your wedding, you should extend the invitation to everyone you interact with on a daily basis. This also goes for your boss, too!

3. Your Bridesmaid’s New Boyfriend

A bridesmaid standing with a man in a tuxedo at an outdoor wedding.

Maybe they’ve only been dating for a month and maybe she goes through boyfriends like fresh socks, but no matter what you might think of the longevity and/or seriousness of their relationship, you should still invite your bridesmaid’s new boyfriend. Why? Because she’s your friend and she’s doing a huge service to you on your special day. Being a bridesmaid is hard work (dress fittings, financial costs, bridal showers, etc.), and she’s doing it all because she loves you. So not inviting him would come off as a little unkind and not appreciative of her and her efforts. The least you can do is invite her boyfriend. Who knows–maybe you’ll be invited to their wedding, next!

4. Your Zany Wedding Planner

You paid her to create your wedding, so why would you invite her to come? Because she did exactly what you paid her to do: pull off the wedding of your dreams. You’ll want them on hand to help you sort out any last-minute details and/or disasters. And while they’ll probably be on site for most of the day anyway, inviting them as an official guest is a generous gesture that shows you appreciate their time and dedication to your special day.

We know creating a wedding guest list is hard and tough decisions need to be made. However, choosing to invite people who might make your life (or your family’s life) easier post-wedding is definitely the right choice.

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