7 Commonly Asked Etiquette Questions About Your Bridesmaids

Four bridesmaids wearing neutral-colored dresses.

Bridal parties are such a fun part of weddings and they’re a chance to really honor the women who are closest to you in your life. There are a lot of etiquette questions surrounding bridesmaids, though, that can be tricky to navigate as you approach your wedding. Luckily, we have answers to some of these tough questions here for you.

When Should You Pop the Question?

You may find yourself wanting to ask your besties to bridesmaids the moment after you get engaged. After all, it’s an exciting question! However, it’s considered appropriate to wait until you have something on the books. You’ll want to be able to provide bridesmaids with a date and location before you ask them to make the commitment.

How Many People Should You Ask?

Many brides find themselves wondering what an “appropriate” number of bridesmaids is. Unfortunately, there’s no foolproof answer on this one. While you don’t want to go too overboard in picking your maids, there aren’t necessarily number restrictions. Think about who you’ll have long, sustainable relationships with (think 10 or more years into the future) and ask the people who fit that bill.

Do Bridesmaids Get a Say About Their Dresses?

Bridesmaids wearing gray dresses and walking in a line toward the wedding ceremony.

Ultimately, the bridesmaid dress choice is up to the bride. However, it’s definitely a nice gesture to give the maids a say in what they wear. After all, they’re spending their money on these dresses and you definitely want them to feel comfortable in what they’re wearing that day. Consult with them on what types of dresses they feel most comfortable in and get their opinions on dresses you’re considering for your maids to aid in your final decision.

Can You Have Multiple Maids of Honor?

If you’re equally close to multiple people in your life or you have more than one sister, you may find yourself wanting to choose multiple maids of honor. This is definitely an option! The one caveat is that you don’t want to choose several people who won’t work well together, as it could lead to unnecessary stress and drama. As long as you feel as though these individuals can work well together dividing up the maid of honor tasks, then feel free to have more than one.

Can Your Mom Be Your Maid of Honor?

A bride holding her mom's hands before the wedding.

Some brides have such a close relationship with their mom that they want her to be an official part of the wedding party. However, you may be wondering if this is appropriate. It totally is! This is a sweet gesture for a mom who also functions as a best friend, so go for it!

What Does the Bridal Party Pay For?

Questions about money are always tough to navigate, and when it comes to questions about this with your bridal party, they’re no exception! Your bridal party will cover quite a few expenses on their own, including their outfit, shoes, accessories, hair and makeup expenses, and the cost of attending the bachelorette party. Some expenses that aren’t necessarily their obligation include their bouquets (that’s something the bride is expected to cover) and the cost of the bridal shower. While they could all chip in for the shower, it’s usually paid for by the host, which could definitely be someone besides a bridesmaid.

A cost that is more ambiguous surrounds the the bride’s attendance at the bachelorette party. Many times, bridesmaids will split the cost of the bride’s attendance so that she herself doesn’t need to pay. However, this differs from group to group and really depends on how much the event costs and how much bridesmaids are comfortable spending.

Do You Have to Ask Your Fiance’s Sister to Be a Bridesmaid?

This is a tricky one, and definitely an issue that requires some sensitivity. If you’re not particularly close to (or fond of) your fiance’s sister(s), you may find yourself not wanting to ask them to be in your bridal party. If this is the case, it’s something you’ll want to discuss with your fiancé. Gauge how important it is to him for his siblings to be included and express the reasons why you don’t want to ask them to be a part of the bridal party in order to come to a decision together. If you don’t end up asking them to be a part of the bridal party, consider including them in other aspects of the wedding fun, like the bachelorette party. Or, you could ask them to do a reading at the wedding or participate in another way so they still play a part in your celebration.

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