Figuring out the phrasing of your same-sex wedding invitations may prove to be tricky. Once you’ve picked out the suite and have your guest list nailed down with addresses, this is probably the last step in the process of getting those invites ordered. If this has you stumped, we have a guide to help you through the process, answering all your same-sex wedding invitation wording questions below.
This is likely one of the biggest questions that comes up surrounding same-sex wedding invitations. It can be confusing to decide whose name goes first on the invitation. While the bride’s name is traditionally first on the invite, the lines of this are obviously different for an LGBTQ wedding. One way to handle this is to look at who is technically hosting the wedding. If one of the partner’s parents are “hosting” and paying for the majority of the wedding, that person’s name should go first. If that’s not the case or you don’t want to do it that way, you can opt to do it alphabetically instead. Finally, if you don’t care to go alphabetically, you can instead just put the names in the order that you personally think sounds better—it’s totally your call! This is a personal decision and there’s no wrong answer.
You and your future spouse may choose not to use binary titles when it comes to your wedding and invitations alike. Marriage terms are naturally quite gendered, and if you choose not to use these terms, you’ll want to let your guests know that. Your invitations, additional information cards, and RSVP cards are a great place to do so. On the reply cards, you could use gender neutral terms like “Mx.” instead or Mr. or Mrs. Another option is to refer to yourselves as “brides Jane and Brenda,” “partners Jane and Brenda,” or “spouses Jane and Brenda.” This does make your invitations a bit less traditional, but it’s important to do what you’re comfortable with.
You may also be wondering whose family members or parents should be mentioned on your invitations, if at all. This is a common question for gay and straight couples alike! The etiquette here is very similar to what it is for invites for straight couples, in fact. If the wedding is paid for by one set of parents, then traditionally their names would be on the invitation and should be mentioned first. The other set of parents, if desired or if contributing financially to the wedding, would be mentioned after the names of those getting married. Here is an example of what this type of invitation would read like:
“Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company as their daughter, Jane Smith, is married to Brenda Johnson, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Jerry Johnson.”
If both sets of parents are contributing financially to the wedding equally, both names can be listed at the top of the invitation. An alternative to that is to use a more general phrase to start off your invitation such as, “Together with their families” or “Join in the joy of the marriage of…”.
If neither set of parents is paying for the wedding (which is quite common these days) then you don’t need to mention parents at all! An example of wording for this would be, “Jane and Brenda request the pleasure of your attendance as they exchange wedding vows.”
There are so many different variations for including families in the phrasing of your invites, and you should go with whatever is right for the dynamics of your particular family as well as what your preferences are as far as wording goes – there is no wrong approach.
Invitation wording doesn’t have to be a mystery. Hopefully this guide serves as a good jumping off point for you to create the dream invitation suite for your upcoming wedding.