Shared Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties: The Pros and Cons

A group of millennial friends at a rooftop party with sparklers.

Ah, bachelor and bachelorette parties. These events are the stuff of legends. Group of friends have epic stories about them. Movies are written about them. And every couple looks forward to having their own…or do they? These days, many couples aren’t as into the booze-and-stripper-filled exploits of bachelors and bachelorettes past. In fact, some couples are opting to combine their parties for one big soirée.

Obviously, a joint bachelor/ette party will be quite different from the traditional, sex-segregated events our parents attended. That can be a great thing—but it also comes with some drawbacks. Here are a few pros and cons to help you decide if a combo event is right for you and your finacé.

Pro: Everyone Can Mingle

A group of millennial friends at a picnic.

Your bridesmaids and groomsmen typically attend your bachelor or bachelorette party. They also spend a lot of time together during the wedding planning process, attending fittings, bridal showers, rehearsal dinners, and of course the wedding itself. But sometimes, members of your wedding party don’t know each other very well—which is why they need a good party to break the ice.

If you host a joint bachelor/ette party, your friends have the opportunity to chat and get comfortable with one another. This serves two purposes: it keeps your bridesmaids and groomsmen from looking uncomfortable when they walk up the aisle together, and it helps different groups of friends become better acquainted. Who knows, your childhood bestie and your spouse’s college roommate could really hit it off!

Con: It Changes the Vibe

A traditional bachelor or bachelorette party is all about camaraderie and friendship. It’s considered the last time you can spend quality time with your friends (obviously not true), and it acknowledges the change in your life from single person to part of a married couple. For many people, this is a special night that’s about honoring and celebrating the good times with your guys or girls.

When you have a joint party, it immediately changes the tone of the night. You can’t have a heartfelt celebration of your closest friends when your partner’s buddies are there, too! A joint party shifts the focus toward the soon-to-be newlyweds, making it more of a second engagement party than a bachelor/ette event.

Pro: It Saves You Money

A group of friends in a limousine wth champagne.

It shouldn’t be surprising that paying for one event is cheaper than paying for two. When you and your sweetheart party together, you only have to pay for one car (or limo, or party bus) and one dinner. This is an easy way to save cash for things like your honeymoon, first home, or anything else you might want to splurge on!

Con: Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

You want everyone to have a good time at your bachelor/ette party. You want to enjoy yourself, sure, but you also want your friends and finacé to have fun as well. And if you’re anything like me, that means you’ll probably open up the floor for suggestions of where to go and what to do to celebrate. But do you know what happens when a large group tries to make a decision? One word: chaos.

If you’re planning a joint bachelor/ette party, you’re going to have A LOT of people with A LOT of ideas. Some people may want to go to a nightclub. Some may want to go wine tasting. Some may want strippers; some may be staunchly opposed to strippers. A joint party can be a recipe for disaster, with lots of arguments and an unhappy wedding party. If you decide to have this kind of bash, make sure you have a plan that everyone can live with.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you and your fiancé have the kind of party you want. If you want to have separate shindigs, great! If you want to combine forces for a huge bachelor and bachelorette bash, that’s find too! Just make sure that you both enjoy your last party as single people.

Find Amazing Vendors