What to Do When you Don’t Want a Sibling in the Wedding Party

Groomsmen at a wedding.

Choosing individuals to be in your wedding party may be a trickier task than you think. You want to choose all of your favorite people, but you may be concerned with hurting the feelings of others. This is especially true when it comes to siblings. There could be pressure to include siblings that you wouldn’t include otherwise in your wedding party, which could cause unwanted tension or awkwardness. Thankfully, there are different ways to navigate these issues to help diffuse any problems and minimize drama. Here’s a couple different dilemmas that can arise with siblings during the wedding planning process.

You Don’t Want Your Own Sibling in Your Wedding Party

Two women sitting on the dock of a lake.

You may feel a certain amount of pressure to include a sibling in your wedding party. While it’s natural for many to to want their brothers or sisters involved, there are also many who just don’t want to include a sibling in their big day, in that way. Whether that’s because you’re not close with them or don’t believe they’re a good fit for your wedding party, it’s not an uncommon occurrence (even if you feel like you’re the only person facing this).

There are several effective ways to deal with this dilemma. The first is to sit down and talk with your sibling and let them know that while you don’t think it’s in both of your best interests for them to be in your wedding, it’s still important for you to have them there in attendance on your big day. Alternatively, you can see if there’s a different role your sibling can play in your wedding (if you’re comfortable with it), such as doing a reading at the ceremony. Above all, it’s important that you stay true to your own desires for your wedding, as it’s your big day and you deserve for it to be the way you envision it.

You Don’t Want Your Fiance’s Sibling in Your Wedding Party

Two friends holding mugs of coffee on a table surface.

If you are grappling with the issue of whether or not to include your fiance’s siblings on your side of the wedding party, you’re certainly not alone. This is something that’s common to figure out, as you may not be very close with your fiance’s siblings, but you may feel there is some sort of expectation for them to be included. Additionally, your fiance might express a desire for you to include their siblings on your side of the wedding party.

This situation is a bit trickier to navigate, as there are potentially many feelings involved—namely, your fiance’s. If your fiance expresses the desire for you to include his or her siblings in the wedding party, try to put yourself in their shoes. Imagine what you’d want them to do if the situation was reversed and have empathy for that as best you can. If there are personal issues that truly prohibit you from having those individuals in the wedding party, sit down and talk it through with your fiance. As mentioned above, perhaps there is a possibility for his or her siblings to play a different role in the wedding—whether it be a reading, a toast, or just including them in pre-wedding events like a bachelor or bachelorette party.

If you’re feeling there is pressure to have your fiance’s siblings as a part of your wedding party but that pressure isn’t coming from your future spouse, have a conversation with everyone involved to explain to them that they’re still an important part of your wedding day, even if they’re not in the wedding party. Hopefully, from there they will respect your wishes.

Grappling with any issues relating to family members while wedding planning is a tough situation to be in. Everyone gets so excited over your big day, and there will be many people who want to play a role in the excitement. However, keep in mind that it’s important for you to voice your own opinions and desires as you get ready to walk down the aisle and to act in line with those wishes to make your big day everything you’ve imagined and more.

Find Amazing Vendors