I had no clue that I was a bridezilla. It seems like such a mean word and may bring to mind an image of a growling (but beautiful!) creature screaming at the wedding party and crying over wilted flowers. You may think this could never be you—but you just might be wrong. Many brides morph into this scary creature without even realizing it. Here’s a few ways to tell if you’re becoming a bridezilla.
1. Wedding Planning Becomes Your Entire Existence
Wedding planning can be stressful and take up a lot of time, but once it actually takes over your life, get ready to be called a bridezilla. If a conversation with friends over the best type of pizza or latest Netflix shows to watch slowly turns to you talking about pizza at weddings and the best wedding episodes of TV shows, you’ve already started to turn. You may find yourself canceling plans to research wedding invitations or the perfect shoes for your dress. You may neglect your tasks at work to scan Pinterest and other sites for wedding ideas. Suddenly, your deadline is approaching and your boss is breathing down your neck, but you think to yourself, “Oh, well! You’re too busy designing wedding programs!” Of course, you need to make time to plan and brainstorm, but be careful to retain balance between your everyday life and the upcoming wedding.
2. Your Fiancé Has no Input
It’s easy to forget that it isn’t just your wedding. Remember, you’re actually marrying someone! When I was wedding planning, my fiancé picked out these horrendous shoes for himself and the groomsmen. I was mortified at what they would look like in photos. It was hard to let go of my idea of the perfect black, shiny shoe, but then it finally hit me that it was his wedding as well. He needed to make some decisions as well, even if I hated them. If you’re making a playlist for the DJ and “forget” to ask your future spouse if they have any ideas, your claws are already showing.
3. You’re Micromanaging Vendors
You’ve hired vendors and even a wedding planner, but you take time out of your day, multiple times, to contact them and ensure things are on track. After all, you need to know your photographer better be researching how to photograph your best side. And the florist better not be trying to pass an ivory flower off as a white flower. However, to avoid being a bridezilla, you have to trust the team you’ve hired to make the best decisions. If you don’t stop micromanaging and fail to trust them at their job, you may get pushed down the line in favor of a more reasonable client.
4. The Bridesmaids Start Silencing You
If your bridesmaids stop responding to your dozens of emails and silence your text threads, you may be a bridezilla. If you find yourself snapping at them over the deadline for getting that perfect manicure, it’s time to go back in your cage. Bridesmaids have their own lives besides getting ready for your big day. Don’t put too much on their plate, or your friendships may suffer. Believe me—I got so crazy over worrying about my bachelorette party date that I was texting one of my bridesmaids about it on the day she got engaged, but she couldn’t care less at that point about my wedding when she had her own celebration to attend to.
5. The Wedding Takes the Place of Your Fiancé
A wedding is an event. Granted, it could be one of your biggest dreams coming to life, but it’s still an event. Don’t forget why it’s taking place. When you start ignoring your fiancé to browse wedding websites and rearrange the seating chart for the third time, the bridezilla begins to rise. Your fiance is probably very considerate of your dreams and wants you to have the best day ever, but they also want to marry you. Let them in on the fun of planning, and then spend some uninterrupted time together where the word “wedding” doesn’t come up at all. Remember why you are getting married in the first place, and don’t let the details of an event distract you from the relationship that started it all.