5 Ways to Maintain Intimacy While Planning a Wedding

A young man and woman hugging.

As any engaged couple will tell you, wedding planning is stressful. Not surprisingly, all the anxiety and sense of overwhelm can ultimately play out in your relationship. You might find yourself fighting more than usual or maybe talking about the wedding and not much else, leaving little room for deeper connection.

But that’s not all. While in the midst of getting ready for your big day, you’re also navigating different territory when it comes to your relationship. You’re no longer dating—but not married yet, either. You’re excited to say “I do,” but this time period is more than bachelor/ette parties and wedding showers—you’re about to embark on the biggest commitment of your life. This is a magical time that lays the foundation of what’s to come, which is why it’s important to maintain intimacy and connection with your partner throughout the process of wedding planning. Here’s how to do just that.

1. Don’t Talk About Just the Wedding

A young couple enjoying a coffee date.

Yes, it’s easy to talk about the wedding when there’s so much to do (and because you’re so excited to be doing it) but your relationship is more than discussing color schemes and floral arrangements. Make it a point to limit the wedding talk. Maybe that means forgoing all wedding planning, including any discussion about it, for one to two days a week. Or maybe it means setting a daily cutoff time, such as 8 pm, when you’re no longer allowed to talk about the wedding. Set time aside for conversations that further your connection, like what you’re most looking forward to after the wedding or what’s currently inspiring you at your job. Continue to foster the interests that brought you together. Get curious about each other again.

2. Schedule Regular Date Nights

Making the time for date nights is crucial for any stage of a relationship as it reestablishes connection, romance, and intimacy. Keeping the romance alive requires time and effort, but it’s worth it. The last thing you want to do is take each other for granted. So, date again! Go out to a favorite restaurant, watch a movie, or go out dancing. Flirt with each other and indulge in some PDA. Above all, have fun and enjoy one another’s company. Remember why you fell in love in the first place.

3. Try a New Hobby Together

A young couple on bikes kissing.

While your first instinct might be that you don’t have time to develop a new hobby, consider the alternative: you’re stressed out and disconnected from your partner. Now, that doesn’t sound like fun, does it? Regular date nights are fun, but true bonding and connection comes when couples tackle an activity or hobby together. Whether it’s trying out a new cooking class or training for a 5K race together, find something that can bring you two closer together and help strengthen your relationship right here and now. Don’t wait until after the wedding.

4. Plan Your Future

You have a life waiting for you after the wedding, and one that will last longer than one day. This is a great time to discuss your long- and short-term goals with each other. Where you do see yourselves in a year? In five years? How will your married life differ from the life you share now? What would you like to change, and what would you like to have stay the same? Being conscious and intentional with your relationship, including all the fine details that go with it, will only make your connection stronger and more defined. You’ll both rest easy knowing that you’re both on the same page when it comes to your matrimonial future together.

5. Express Your Love

It’s easy to complain to your partner, especially in the midst of wedding planning. While this is normal in relationships from time to time, complaining about your partner is a quick way to kill the romance and suffocate the love that exists between you. Yes, you might be at your wit’s end with all the organizing that needs to be done with your big day, but telling your partner how much you love and appreciate them is crucial to keeping the spark alive. Actions might speak louder than words sometimes, but verbally expressing your adoration goes a long way, too. Besides, getting in the habit of complimenting your partner is never a bad thing. It will only help your relationship, and keep you from driving each other insane.

The months before your wedding day don’t have to mean a time of stress and worry for your relationship. By making time to connect with each other in functional and fun ways, you and the love of your life can make this a very special and meaningful time that will pave way for a beautiful new chapter ahead.

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