The question has been popped, the wedding date is set, and now you are ready to party. Whether you are envisioning a vacation with all your best pals complete with Mai Tais and fun in the sun or something more low-key like a professional spa day in the comfort of your own home, you want to ensure that your bachor or bachelorette party is done up right.
We reached out to two experts, Kirsten Palladino, editorial director of Equallywed.com and author of “Equally Wed: The Ultimate Guide to Planning Your LGBTQ+ Wedding” and Laetitia Orsetti of Fabulous Weddings to give advice on what makes for a truly unforgettable LGBTQ+ bach party.
Make Your Party Reflect Your Personality
“I think that as the trends for weddings have gone to personal, personal, personal, I think that’s been the same way with bach parties in terms of we no longer think, ‘Oh, we have to go out to the club with strange sexual plastic things,’” says Palladino.
Palladino recommends tailoring your bach party to your personality. For example, if you enjoy skiing, rent a chalet for the weekend if it’s in your budget. If you love to create artwork, find something like a local glass blowing demonstration and class.
Orsetti and her company Fabulous Weddings in Buenos Aires, Argentina specialize in creating different bach party packages that are suited for the individual. She has arranged everything from low-key evenings like a spa day in the bride or groom’s hotel room to a VIP shopping day complete with personal shopper and champagne to a private polo match at a country house that was topped off with a lunch of empanadas and red wine.
“Have a couple of days to get away, spend time together, and bond,” Orsetti recommends. “It makes for an unforgettable time [before] you get married.”
Ultimately, whatever you choose to do at your bach party, it’s really all about the invite list.
“Bringing the people you care about the most just to have fun and obviously adding alcohol to the mix is going to make it more fun,” says Palladino.
See if Your Partner Wants to Plan a Party With You
Although some LGBTQ+ couples prefer to have separate parties because they have different groups of friends (or just have a completely different idea of what makes a great night out), many have a large shared friend group and want to throw their party together.
“There aren’t these gendered roles, like ‘this is my last chance to be with my friends without you.’ It’s one way that LGBTQ couples separate themselves from heterosexual couples in not doing it separately,” Palladino says.
Palladino recommends to talk to your partner and see if he or she wants to throw a bach party together or to plan it separately. If you aren’t from the same city, have different groups of hometown friends, or went to two different colleges it might make more sense to plan two separate events. However, be sure to discuss what would be the most enjoyable and fun for everyone involved.
“Many couples look at it as going out with all their friends from the guest list but not necessarily the entire guest list. These are the people they circulate with the most in their everyday lives,” Palladino says.
Dress to the Nines
When it comes to bach parties, dressing up is all part of the celebration. Whether you’re staying in or going out for a night on the town, encouraging your entourage to wear something that marks the occasion is always going to be fun.
Orsetti recommends some wild and colorful wigs, or to have everyone rent an outfit (that they wouldn’t normally wear in everyday life) from companies like Rent the Runway or maybe even a costume shop.
There are also increasing amounts of companies who are putting out LGBTQ+ bach merchandise like t-shirts that say “She popped the question” or “Team Grooms” and bach party rainbow sunglasses and sashes to wear.
Really, the most important thing is to have everyone wear something that makes them feel great and ready to have a good time.
“If you have good drinks, good food for the day, and a fun wardrobe, you can’t really go wrong,” Orsetti says.
Be Sure to Pick LGBTQ+ Friendly Vendors and Locations
One crucial thing to keep in mind before you go out for your big night is to make sure you are choosing LGBTQ+ friendly locations and companies, Palladino says.
“If you’re gonna go super far [from home], make sure your venue is equality minded. You want to feel comfortable when you say ‘I’m getting married.’ You want to make sure the bartender isn’t going to be a complete jerk. Then it just takes the whole party down,” Palladino says.
If you’re thinking about a destination bach party, Palladino suggests gay-friendly areas like Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Napa, Sonoma, Austin, and anywhere down the Riviera Maya in Mexico.
For the ultimate bach party experience and an LGBTQ+ friendly wedding spot, Orsetti recommends Buenos Aires, Argentina. Not only is it a fairly inexpensive alternative to Vegas, but it’s also very friendly to same-sex couples.
“Argentina is a Catholic country, but it’s so open about same-sex couples,” Orsetti says. “There’s such a solidarity in these South American countries that make it really special.”
Many of Orsetti’s clients choose to have their bach parties and their weddings take place in Buenos Aires because same-sex marriage is legal and you don’t have to be a resident to have a ceremony in the country. Her clients often combine a bach party, wedding ceremony, and honeymoon together, sharing their special moments with just a few close friends (or as she refers to it, a “buddymoon”).
Be Mindful of Your Friends’ Budgets
Lastly, it’s important to note that while you are over-the-moon happy to find your special someone, you shouldn’t make your friends take out a second mortgage to celebrate your wedding. Be mindful of how much you’re expecting your friends to spend and offer to cover the cost if it gets to be too burdensome.
If you have friends traveling to your bach party, maybe don’t expect them to buy a new outfit, go out to a fancy restaurant for dinner, and spring for the cabana by the pool. Just be reasonable and everyone will be sure to have a good time.