Engagement Rings and Same-Sex Weddings

Pair of rings on a rainbow background

When you think of weddings and rings, certain conventions come to mind. For some people, the two rings are important. They like the idea of the engagement ring, then wedding ring. For some, a diamond is the only stone option and they can’t even imagine another type. What about same-sex couples? What engagement ring conventions should they follow? Here’s the thing: same sex weddings have only been legally possible for a short while, so precedents are mostly unset.

It’s hard to know what’s the best choice for same-sex engagement rings. So, what if you’re in a same-sex relationship and you’re looking to pop that question, but you’re not sure what your partner is expecting? Most same-sex couples get engaged just like hetero couples, but that doesn’t mean you have to. You don’t have to do the cookie cutter thing; that’s the beauty of a new, evolving tradition. This freedom also includes rings. When it comes to the engagement ring itself, you have options and the right to choose whatever you both desire.

Going with Traditional Rings

The nice thing about tradition is that you can always follow what others have been doing for a long time. Same-sex couples may just want to follow what hetero couples have been doing when it comes to rings. If you’re in a same-sex relationship and want to pop the question the traditional way, you could try picking out his or her ring for and making it a surprise, hoping for the best.

There’s also the option of picking out the ring together and proposing later in a way that still makes it somewhat of a surprise. Either way, it’s up to you. Some same-sex couples are happy to follow tradition. They want to exchange rings in a way that’s been done for hetero-couples, and it’s totally your choice on how to do this. If it brings you joy to go the conventional ring route, then you can always choose this option.

A group of women look at a friend's engagement ring

The Perfect Ring

What is the perfect ring for a same-sex couple? Is there any one answer? Should you go with a conventional diamond ring or should you opt for something a little more out of the box? It’s 2018 and people are really getting creative with their engagement ring choices. If you’re not feeling the diamond ring look, go with a different stone. Just make sure to find something scratch-resistant and beautiful. You could also try to find something produced through fair-trade practices and cruelty-free production, because the truly perfect ring for your love is one made with love too.

Although many are going outside the diamond ring option, you don’t have to. Maybe getting a diamond ring feels better to you, or you just like the way a diamond ring would look on your partner’s hand. Either way, it’s all about what makes you and your partner feel happy. Don’t feel pressured to purchase rings a certain way because you are in a same-sex relationship. You are individuals with certain tastes. Focus on the pressure you’ll feel from your partner on finding the perfect ring and you’ll have enough to worry about without worrying about other expectations.

Finding the perfect ring in a scenario with two men can be a bit more challenging than with two women simply because men’s rings can be so boring. Some men like a more classic, simplified metal band look. If this is you, then you’ll want to go with the more traditional ring. If you need a little more flair in the jewelry you wear, then don’t be afraid to spice it up. There are some beautiful choices out there if you know where to look and take the time to find them. Try searching around for men’s rings made with unconventional metals and start there. And if you don’t find that perfect one, you can always collaborate with a professional to create your perfect ring.

Something Different

Some same-sex couples, and some hetero for that matter, don’t feel comfortable with rings at all but still want some kind of symbol to show their commitment and affection for each other. If this is the case for you, there are lots of options. If it’s the traditional way of wearing the ring that’s bothering you, you could wear it on a chain. You and your partner could get matching tattoos as a way of binding together, either on your ring fingers or elsewhere.

A pair of rainbow engagement rings

You could exchange a different kind of jewelry set like bracelets engraved with the date of your wedding. If you’re proposing, but not doing rings, you could make them something to propose with, like a beautiful momento. An heirloom would also makes a nice statement when it comes to proposing without rings. Rings are not a requirement for everyone. This is true for both hetero couples and same-sex couples. You can always show your love in a different way.

Same-sex couples have their own culture and creative ideas surrounding weddings and relationships. Don’t let the prescribed ideas temper important decisions that you want to make with your partner. The right engagement rings can be crucial. It’s a piece of jewelry that you’ll possibly wear every day for the rest of your life. On the other hand, it’s just a piece of jewelry; it doesn’t define you or your partner. You can decide how you want to express your love and commitment to each other in a personal way that makes sense for both of you.

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