Your buddy asked you to be a groomsman, and you’re pretty stoked. But being in a wedding party involves more than looking good in a tux and raiding the open bar. While the best man will be shouldering most of the heavy-duty tasks, you’re definitely not getting off scot-free. Being a groomsman carries a lot of responsibility, which means you’ll be investing a lot of time and energy, (not to mention money). If you’re looking to ace your groomsmen duties like a boss, here’s what you need to know.
Help Shop for the Ring and the Tux
Some grooms might want to do this on their own or with their best man, while others might lean on their entire wedding party for support—which means you shouldn’t be surprised if you get a text from your friend about ring or tux shopping. Show up and offer feedback. If you don’t know a lot about wedding rings or tuxes, then you might want to do a little research so you can help ease your friend’s mind because, don’t kid yourself, he’s sweating buckets.
Buy or Rent Your Own Suit Without Complaining
Whether you buy or rent your groomsmen suit or tux, you’ll be forking over some cash. You’ll also be in charge of getting tailoring so everything fits just right. Don’t leave purchasing or tailoring the suit to the last minute. Your job is to help streamline the groom’s share of wedding duties as effortlessly and stress-free as possible, so be a pal and get your suit done ASAP.
Plan the Bachelor Party
Attending a bachelor party is one thing, but planning it is something else entirely. Hint: it’s not going to be all fun and games. While traditionally the planning of the bachelor party is up to the best man, don’t be surprised if you’ll be tasked with helping to plan it, or at least having some type of part in it that’s not just partying. Take initiative and offer up your services, anyway. Being in charge of an event, especially one as important and memorable as the bachelor party, is a big undertaking. At the very least, you’ll be expected to chip in some money to help out since you’ll all be paying for the groom’s night.
Attend all Pre-Wedding Events
As part of the bridal party, you’re expected to show up at all pre-wedding events including the engagement party, the rehearsal dinner, and anywhere else the bride and groom might want their wedding party to be. If you live out of town, then it’s totally acceptable to not be able to attend all of the events, but if you’re able to swing it then you definitely should. If anything, you’re expected to attend the rehearsal dinner so you can alleviate any pre-wedding nerves and awkwardness by knowing the order of the processional and recessional. You want to look like you know what you’re doing, right?
Buy a Wedding Gift
It’s usually customary for the wedding party to gift the betrothed couple with a special gift. Remember, you don’t have to break the bank. Even a small and personal token is more than enough. If you’re not sure what to gift them, then check out their registry and see which gifts fit your budget. You can always do something a little unique, like offering your family’s cabin as a potential honeymoon or weekend getaway spot.
Book Travel and Accommodations
Whether the wedding is taking place on a faraway beach or in your home state, it’s expected that you will pay for your travel and accommodations. Usually, couples reserve a block of rooms at a hotel for a discounted rate, so you’ll be able to save some money that way. You’ll want to arrive at the venue with plenty of time to spare in order to help prep and be on hand for any last-minute support. Meaning? Don’t arrive at the hotel within an hour or two of the wedding. You don’t want to stress out the bride and groom with wondering where you are. If you’re from out of town, you should book a hotel room for at least two days prior to the actual day. If you’re a local, the night before will suffice.
Keep the Groom Calm
Even if the groom doesn’t show it, he’s probably freaking out. Your job is to help him relax and show him a good time. Be an ear when he needs it, and alleviate any stressful situations by helping out or breaking the ice with a funny story or joke. Basically, be the friend you’ve always been to him and the reason why he asked you to be a groomsman in the first place. He’s counting on you for that.