The Pros and Cons of a Parent as a Best Man or Matron of Honor

A bride and her female family members holding bouquets.

Having a close relationship with a parent is such a special thing, and if you’re in that situation, you may want to make your mom or dad your matron of honor or best man. This is such a fun way to incorporate that parent into your big day. There are definitely a range of pros and cons associated with this, however, which we delve further into below.

The Pros of Having a Parent as a Best Man or Matron of Honor

A groom hugging his dad before his wedding.

There are a lot of pros associated with having one of your parents in your wedding party that you may want to consider.

It’s a Special Honor

As mentioned above, having your parent be a part of your wedding party is a special honor for them and is something super special to you. If your relationship with them is close enough to have them as a part of your wedding party, then you’ll love having them stand by your side in this capacity. That’s definitely an upside!

You’ll Get Supreme Honesty from Them

Your parents always want what’s best for you, so you can really count on them to be honest with you the entire way through your wedding planning process. Whether it’s getting their opinion on your wedding day attire or opinions on the venue or another aspect of the planning process, you’ll be able to count on them to say their true opinion every step of the way.

No One Knows You Better

It’s likely that your parent knows you better than anyone else you’d put in your wedding party, which makes them the perfect person for the job! They know your feelings better than anyone, know how to make you laugh, and can read your emotions without you saying a word. They’ll have that intuitive notion of how to best support you the entire journey of your wedding planning process and they’ll be able to especially do so on the big day. This is a great reason to incorporate them into your wedding party.

The Cons of Having a Parent as a Best Man or Matron of Honor

A bride holding hands with her mom.

On the other hand, there are some cons worth thinking through before putting either of your parents in your wedding party.

It Could Clash with Etiquette

Standard etiquette practices say that your mom can’t throw you a bridal shower, so that could complicate things if she’s also your matron of honor. While these rules can obviously be broken, it’s definitely something to think about!

They’re Going to Be Busy on Your Wedding Day

Whether or not your parents are in your wedding party as best man or matron of honor, they’re going to have some responsibilities to tend to on your wedding day. They will likely have a lot of their own guests attending the wedding that they’ll want to mingle with, and putting the demands of another important role on them for this special day could make things hectic. This is definitely something to consider!

It Could Be Awkward

It may be awkward to have one of your parents planning your bachelor or bachelorette party, which is a traditional task that the matron of honor or best man takes care of. Then, having them attend the party could be awkward as well. Obviously you don’t need to go too wild at this pre-wedding event if you don’t want to—but if you do want to, think about whether you really want your parent to be present for it.

It Takes a Spot Away from Someone Else

If you have other close relatives or friends that you would consider for this spot in your wedding party, assigning it to one of your parents takes it away from those individuals. No matter what, your parent is going to be a VIP at your wedding. You don’t necessarily need to give them one of these titles to make them feel special, so remember that as you’re formulating your wedding party.

It’s so fun to decide who will stand by you on your wedding day. Take these points into consideration as you decide if your parent is right for the role of best man or matron of honor!

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